person: hey wanna hang out
thoughts: omfg how do i get myself out of this
my thoughts at school
me: okay that's cool, just stop in the middle of the hallway, i have all day
me: she’s a bitch
me: you need to go back to first grade
me: i’m hungry
me: you got some face on your make-up
me: why did you bring your designer bag to school
me: i’m tired
me: stop screaming you’re right next to her whore
me: fuck my life
ifyoucarryonthisway: how awkward are you on a scale from one to miranda cosgrove riding a candycane
math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
Teacher: Why did you not study?
Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday.
Class is too quiet
Stomach: Ladies and gentlemen I shall play you the song of my people.
heytinafey: i’m laughing so hard